Our Lullaby
by Marie J.W
Summary: This story is about a woman who sacrafices everything: her family, her best friend, and her joy of life all for one little infant who doesn't even know her own mother.
1. Chapter One

Title: Our Lullaby

Author: Marie J.W.

Chapter: CHAPTER ONE

Rated: PG

Email: mariejwchan@yahoo.com

URL: www.clik.to/mariejwchan

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Summary:

    It all started on a rainy night in June when Lady Serenity ReCinny of the House of Chesterfield ran away from her home, her rich life and the ones that she dearly loved… And all for what? …A baby.

    This story is about a woman who sacrifices everything: her family, her best friend and her joy of life all for one little infant who doesn't even know her own mother.

AN: This is an alternate reality that takes place in the early 1800's. This is a Serena/Darien fan fic.

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         The sky poured down thousands of wet raindrops all over the Chesterfield estate. The lush green grass was barely visible through the thick sheets of water falling from the dark gray sky. The thick forest green trees in the distance swayed and brushed up against each other as the wind pushed and pulled them from side to side.

     I stood in front of the large bay window in the parlor, still wearing my light blue day dress and blue slippers. I stared out the window as I held my bag of clothes up against my chest. Can I do this? 

     I have to do this. The wind picked up making me shiver in my spot on the dark blue rug. I bit my lip and looked away from the window to look around the dark lavishly furnished room. This parlor was once my mother's special place, the one room I could always find her. She often sewed, crocheted, embroidered or read in this room. She loved this room, the way the bay window opened to the extremely large back yard and the way the light beamed into room, brightening it natually. She would sit, watch, and hum lovely songs to herself, songs I had never heard 'till she sung them.

     She is gone now, such a beautiful Song Bird taken by the fever.

Swallowing hard, I pushed the feelings away and concentrated on crossing the large clearing before me. I had to leave before my father returned that evening. I had to leave all of this. I didn't want to but I had to… I was scared to leave my home but it was my only choice.

     I wiped the tears from my cheeks, "I have to leave…"

     Quickly scurrying out of the room and to the equally dark kitchen and found myself looking at the kitchen door that would finally lead me to the unknown. I straitened my shoulders and bit back my tears. I couldn't stay here and that was final. If father found out what happened… No, I couldn't think of that. And what of Darien? My resolve faltered. My best friend. Tears threatened but I quickly shook them away. He will understand. He has to… I can't stay here, if he knew… if he… no, I can't face him again, not after that night… I felt so ashamed and so sick. I wish I had never gone to that party… I wish I had never gone.

     I can't fix the past so I'll take care of the future. It's for the best. I quickly flung open the door. The cold rain came at me full force, taking my breath away. I sucked in some air and plunged into the night. I have to do this… if not for myself, then for the only man I'll ever love.

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      …Eight Years Later…

"Rini get back here! You must get ready before your father arrives! Rini!"

     I watched as my elder sister, Lady Ellie Starant, in all white and blue ruffles and petticoats chase a small seven-year-old blonde girl around the mansion. It was a ridiculous sight if I must say. I frowned at Rini's game. The child was definitely spoiled. If my sister would just put her foot down more than once a week I'm sure Rini would learn to be a good little girl but no, Ellie always left the disciplining to me, that's how it had always been. Unfortunately, I can't be home all the time.

     Ellie finally stopped half way up the stairs. She turned to find me staring at her looking quite calm, "Serenity!" She whispered frantically, "Please, make the girl behave!"

     I sighed and turned my gaze to the little fairy. She stared down at her mother through the stairway railing with a large smile on her pretty little face. She was obviously thrilled that her mother had run a marathon trying to catch her.

     "Rini, come down here at once and obey your mother," My lips formed a thin line as I looked disapprovingly up at her.

    Rini looked at me and frowned, "I don't have to mind you! I want to go ride Ally!" She pouted and held onto the railing firmly. I sighed; the girl could be so stubborn… much like her father.

    "I will not have you behaving so… What would Lady Mina say if she saw you?" I tried a different tactic. Rini looked up to my best friend Lady Mina Revolli and considered her a goddess of some sort. I mentally shook my head at the notion. It was utterly ridiculous. Mina couldn't be a goddess if she owned all the jewels in the world, she was too silly headed for that sort of thing.

    "I want to ride Ally," Rini stomped her foot then looked pleadingly at her mother, eventually adding tears to her act. I rolled my eyes as Ellie sighed in sympathy and nodded.

   "Oh… alright, sweetie, go play but don't take too long," Ellie relaxed and once again looked like a perfect lady. I quickly became upset. Ellie cannot keep letting the girl get her way! Rini on the other hand was ecstatic that she got her way. Her tears immediately vanished as she quickly ran down the stairs hugged Ellie then skipped down the hall towards the stables where her dear little pony Ally was kept.

   "Ellie!" I snapped as my sister began to make her graceful way back down the stairs, "She will never learn to obey when you keep giving into her. It just makes her more of a brat."

    "Serenity, really," Ellie sighed, "she's just a child, let her do as she pleases and when she grows, then she can-"

   "Spoil her own children," I frowned, "We agreed at the beginning of this that you would bring her up to be a lady… not a… a hoodlum!"

   "You are exaggerating," Ellie gracefully tucked a strand of her pale blonde hair back into her elegant hair twist before looking around the mansion, "at least this time she didn't break anything."

    I swear my eyes popped out, "Excuse me! How can you say that?! Ellie this is not-"

   Suddenly Ellie's brown eyes weren't passive anymore. She was glaring at me, "At the beginning of this I also told you to stay out of her life! She's not yours anymore, Serenity. 'I' am her mother now… remember that." With that said, she swiftly turned around and left me standing shocked and hurt in the hallway.

  I swallowed hard to keep from choking on my own tears.

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      Later that night, Rini was sent to bed early. John Starant sent her to her room for her lack of table manners and for not coming when called for dinner. Rini threw a fit but unlike earlier that day, she didn't get her way. However, I didn't quite approve of John's way of discipline. He yelled all too much at the girl and he even threatened to whip her if she didn't do as she was told. Of course, I intervened and pushed Rini up to bed before the man got out of control. Rini cried all the way up to her room.

     "Why does papa hate me?" Rini looked up at me for answers. Tears were still streaming down her face. I ignored her sad eyes and did my best to remain impassive and cold towards her. I pulled out her nightgown and headed towards her, "Hands up."

     She lifted her arms and I helped her pull off her pink day dress. She sniffed under the material before I quickly pulled the dress over her head, "I wish I were prettier, and then maybe he would like me."

    "Being pretty has nothing to do with it," I quickly put in as I slid her nightgown over her head and around her body, "its manners and treating your elders with respect. The way you acted downstairs was uncalled for… I don't want to see it again, Miss Rini."

    "I only wanted to stay with Ally," Rini stretched out so I could take her shoes off, "He was lonely today."

    "You were with him all afternoon; I hardly say he was lonely. Besides, it's ridiculous to put your pony before your father," I put her shoes away and closed the closet doors. Turning around I found Rini staring at her hands. What was she thinking? My heart went out to her. She was only seven years old for goodness sakes, what was going through John's mind when he threatened to whip her? Suddenly I wasn't so calm anymore. I will have a talk with him tonight; I will not have him loosing his temper like that.

    "Time for bed, Miss Rini," I moved towards the bed. Rini looked up at me before turning around and crawling towards the top of the large queen size bed. I pulled back the fluffy pink covers and she slipped in, snuggling her little body under the thickness of her blankets. She laid her head down and looked up at me.

   "Do you like me, Aunt ReCinny?"

I blinked before quickly recovering, "I like you well enough, Miss Rini." My throat was tight. I wanted to tell her everything, everything I like and love and cherish about her. I wanted to reach out, pull her in my arms, and rock her to sleep like I once did… I wanted to comfort her and make her feel like the center of my world, for that is what she is… my world.

   However, instead, I gave her a tight smile and said, "Goodnight, Miss Rini," then left the room.

   Tears slipped from my eyes as my lips trembled. I hugged myself as I quietly made my way towards the stairs. Today was a trying day that was all. There was no real reason to cry. Everyday I faced Rini and her strange questions. Everyday I longed for her love and her hugs… today was no different, so why should I cry?

  I sat down on the stairs and stared at my lap. I felt so alone. When was the last time someone said, "I love you" to me or when was the last time I said that same thing to anyone else? When was the last time I was held and cherished? When was the last time I felt taken care of instead of the other way around? 

  I wanted to break down and cry just then… I felt so alone. However, as I remembered Rini's sky blue eyes staring up at me I held the tears back. If I cried she would hear and come running. No, I couldn't let her break down my barrier. It was there for a reason, for a good reason. If I broke down she would find out and it would break her heart that her mean old Aunt was her mother.

  When was the last time I was called… "mother"?

To Be Continued…

AN: Okay, that's it for now! I know, I know, I have two other stories that I should be working on but I thought this up the other night and I just HAD to write it! You'll like it! It's got mystery, romance, and revenge! Hehe… well, anyway, please review and tell me what you think. It's a little weird with Rini being blonde with blue eyes but it's an alternate reality taking place in the 1800's, I don't think it would be a good idea to have Rini with pink hair and red eyes. That would be a little weird. Until next time!


	2. Chapter Two

Title: Our Lullaby

Author: Marie J.W.

Chapter: CHAPTER TWO

Rated: PG

Email: mariejwchan@yahoo.com

URL: www.clik.to/mariejwchan

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Summary:

    It all started on a rainy night in June when Lady Serenity ReCinny of the House of Chesterfield ran away from her home, her rich life and the ones that she dearly loved… And all for what? …A baby.

    This story is about a woman who sacrifices everything: her family, her best friend and her joy of life all for one little infant who doesn't even know her own mother.

AN: This is an alternate reality that takes place in the early 1800's. This is a Serena/Darien fan fic.

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     …Serenity's Dream…

     "Momma! Momma! Look!" A small three year-old Rini ran across the front of the cabin towards her mother. Serenity looked up as her daughter came running clothed in her light blue muddy dress. She had obviously been near the murky woods again. Serenity sighed and shook her head before finally letting a small smile creep upon her face.

    "What did you find this time?" Serenity sat down on the end of the front porch and let her daughter come and sit in her lap. Rini situated her self then slowly opened her closed hands for her mother to see. In her little palms sat a tiny caterpillar.

    "It's a fuzzy worm!" Rini giggled at her find, "He looks funny."

"Worm?" Serenity laughed, "No, Small Lady, it's a caterpillar."

    Rini scrunched her nose, "Cat-e-piler?"

They both watched the little thing try to crawl its way off Rini's hand only to be cut off my lack of footing.

    "He's pretty, isn't he?"

"Yeah…" Rini stared awed at the thing, "It's so soft…"

    Serenity marveled at the peace she felt just then as she watched her daughter stare at the little bug. Soft curls that escaped her daughter's pigtails brushed against her little red cheeks.

    "Can we keep it?" Rini suddenly turned her sky blue eyes upon her.

Serenity looked at the caterpillar with a soft smile, "No, we don't want to do that. We need to let it go so it will turn into a butterfly."

    "Butterfly? It will have wings?" Rini turned back to the caterpillar very amazed and entranced.

    "It will… and it will be very beautiful…" Serenity brushed back some loose strands of hair from her daughters face, "just like you."

    Rini giggled before placing the caterpillar down on the soft earth by her momma's feet. Together they watched the caterpillar crawl off. Suddenly, Rini turned around and hugged her, "I love you, Momma!"

    "I love you too, Rini," Serenity wrapped her arms around her daughter and pulled her closer, "I love you so much…"

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    I awoke from my dream feeling a sense of loss. Why did things have to be this way? If only things had been different that night, if only I knew of another choice, if only it happened later and with a man who loved me… just as much as I knew I loved him.

   What would he do if he knew he had a daughter? Would he shun her? Would he ignore her? Somehow, I couldn't picture him being so cruel. He was gentle and fun if a little bit serious sometimes. He loved life and how it grew, he wouldn't hate Rini, I knew that much.

   However, he wouldn't forgive me. I know he wouldn't. I should have been wiser. I should have kept sober. If he knew what happened that night, he would never forgive me and he might even hate himself for his actions. I bit my lip, trying to keep the tears at bay, "What is wrong with me?" I slid out of bed and started to make my bed, "Ever since that day I can't keep my emotions under control. They just seem to flare up all the time," I let out a long sigh, turned and headed for my dresser, "Maybe I should take a vacation up at our cabin… that might clear my head… but it also might bring up memories…" I shook her head and pulled my hair up into a braided bun then washed my face.

   A maid knocked at the door, "Miss, breakfast is ready."

"Thank you," I called then quickly pulled out my black dress and pulled it on, buttoning the back with some struggle. I slipped on my shoes and then headed for the door. Slipping out of my room and shutting the door behind me, I took a deep breath and straitened my back, smoothing my features to a careful blank as I walked down the stairs. This would be another hard day for me, another hard and lonely day, I only hopped I could get some happiness out of today.

   In the dinning room sat Ellie and her husband John with Rini sitting at the end of the table playing with her food. I could tell by just watching the family that there was tension in the air. As I took my seat, I could tell that Rini didn't look the least bit happy as she stared at her food and pushed her food around with her fork.

   John sat at the head of the table reading the morning newspaper while Ellie ate gracefully as she went from looking out the window to glancing at John. I sighed, Ellie reminded me of our father, always keeping out of everyone else's business and keeping to himself. Didn't Ellie ever wonder what John did while he was away? As far as I knew, Ellie didn't even know what he did to support them.

   "Good morning, John, Ellie, Rini," I picked up my fork and ate my breakfast.

   John grunted while Ellie spoke for the both of them, "Morning Sere."

Rini just glanced up from her plate and mumbled a "good morning".

  I kept back the frustrated sigh that wanted to escape and also the reprimanding words that sought to escape my mouth. I so badly wanted to tell John what a horrible father he was being and what a horrible and selfish husband he was being as well. I also wanted to yell at Elli for her passiveness and acting like such a spoiled queen. As for Rini I just wanted to take her away from all this and 'finally' let out my precious secret, that Rini was truly MY daughter and NOT my sisters.

   However, I held all this in and calmly ate my meal with a frown, a frown I wore all too often these last few years.

   The doorbell rang long and loud throughout the house. There was only one person who rung the doorbell in such as way and that was Mina Revolli. The sound of footsteps reaching the door shut off the annoying sound and was replaced by the opening of the door. I listened to Mina's cheerful voice as she asked where the family resided. Therefore, when Mina appeared in the doorway it was no surprise to see her smiling at us.

  "Good morning, Starant family! And how do we do this lovely morning?" Mina practically bounced into the room.

  John looked up from his newspaper, clearly looking annoyed, "Just fine, Miss Revolli, what brings you up here at such an early hour?"

  Mina's eyes brightened, glad that John had asked her so soon, "I have the most wonderful news from town for Ellie and Sere. I must speak with them at once on the subject, oh, and you must hear it as well Mr. Starant, for I'm sure it will interest you."

  "Well, by all means, sit down Miss Revolli," Ellie waved towards a chair near her but Mina refused and immediately flounced over to my side and took a seat next to me. Ellie looked a little annoyed but quickly smoothed her features into a pleasant expression.

   Mina smiled at Rini, "And how are you, my dear? How are you riding lessons going?"

   For the first time that morning I saw Rini smile, "Very good, Miss Mina. My instructor says I'm improving nicely."

  Mina smiled and nodded, "Very good, you shall grow up to be a fine lady."

Rini giggled.

  I fought down a smile to match Rini's and turned to Mina, "You said you had news from town?"

  "Oh! Yes!" Mina scooted her chair in and leaned forward with shinning eyes, "There is a new fellow in town. His name is Mr. Birmington and he's come all the way from Eyre! Can you believe that? And he's looking to settle here. I've heard he had a fortune and that he is looking to catch a bride as well!"

  "My, that is something, isn't it John?" Ellie glanced at her husband, "Where does he plan to reside? Not in the west side of town, I hope."

  "No, in fact, that's what I came here to tell you. Mr. Birmington bought the estate just north of you just this last Wednesday. I would have told you sooner but I only heard about the whole affair last night from Mrs. Winslow," Mina took a deep breath, "You must invite them over, it is your duty as a neighbor to introduce him to the towns' people."

  John nodded, his newspaper forgotten, "And indeed we shall," then turning to Ellie he announced, "You must organize a ball, my dear, and send out invitations in Mr. Birmingtons honor."

  Ellie nodded, "Of course! I will get Mrs. Bluet and Margaret to help me this afternoon. And you, John, must visit our new neighbor as soon as possible and let him know your plans."

  "I shall," John smiled and folded his newspaper, setting it aside his plate. He looked at his pocket watch, "I have an appointment this morning but as soon as I'm finished I will visit Mr. Birmington."

  I watched all of this in amazement. It is a wonder what a distant family can do together once something happened in town. I wondered who this man really was. Not too many people just up and moved into our little town. If someone were to move here, we often heard about it months before hand, which was one of the reasons I choose to move in with my sister.

  Mina clasped her hands together in the excitement of it all, "I also heard that he is hosting some friends from New York, can you imagine that? There are two young men with him and they are quite distinguished and if I'm guessing correctly they are single," with that last sentence Mina immediately turned to Serenity, "Who knows, Sere, maybe one of the three will fit to your taste."

  Ellie laughed, "I highly doubt that, Miss Rovolli."

"You can never tell, Ellie," Mina smiled and glanced in my direction.

  I glared at Mina. How dare she? I'm in no way in the mood to entertain men. I have enough responsibilities to take care of… Well, she will soon find that this woman will not budge. I will insist that I stay in my room the entire night of the ball, besides, someone has to watch Rini while her so-called parents are soaking themselves with wine.

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   The ball was to be that very weekend. With a snap of her fingers, Ellie had the whole town putting up decorations and fixing tastries for the ball. Invitations were set out immediately and already I heard that most of the town planned to come.

   Mina came by often to share what little information she could gather up about to two other gentlemen that she heard of. For the majority of the week I spent my time arguing with my friend. Mina insisted that I come to the ball while I refused. Mina was becoming more and more persistent and it was making me uneasy as well as annoyed. Couldn't she see that I wasn't going to budge?

  Finally, that Saturday rolled around. Mina came flouncing into my bedroom with two large boxes in her arms.

  "What, my I ask, is that?" I asked as I sat in my rocking chair reading a book and trying to ignore the loud music coming from downstairs. The musicians chosen for that night were practicing and tuning their music before the ball.

   Mina laid it down on my bed and lifted the tops off the boxes, "Your dress for tonight. I had it made for you a couple days ago. It will look absolutely stunning on you!"

   "Mina," I sighed, "I will not wear that dress tonight."

"Phooey!" Mina pulled the undergarments out of the other box and laid them on the bed, "I will not let you grow to be an old maid, although, you do look the part this very minute. You are young and beautiful, Sere, it's about time you dressed it and show your true colors."

  I ignored her and tried to concentrate on my book.

Mina stopped her actions and looked at me, "Serenity, I will not have this from you. You are going to the dance even if I have to force you into this dress and drag you downstairs."

  This got a smile out of me, "Ha, I would like to see you try, Miss Weakling."

  Mina glared, "Who said I would do it by myself?"

I looked up from my book, wrinkling my brow in confusion and curiosity, "Excuse me?"

  "At this very minute I have a few wonderful girls that are willing to help me dress you… IF you don't do it willingly."

  "I don't believe you, Mina," I stood up and put my book down, "I have duties, unlike you and my duty lies with Miss Rini. Someone has to watch her and make sure she stays in her room during the ball. I have no time for frivolous games of cat and mouse," I stood in front of Mina with my hands on my hips, "Now, if you'll please leave and join Ellie downstairs, 

I'm sure she'll enjoy your kind of entertainment more than I."

  Mina shook her head, "I warned you, Sere, I really did. You are going to that dance. Do you know why? Because I know you're hiding from something, you hide your true self under that mask of indifference and under that shabby black dress that makes you look as unattractive as possible. This is for your own good and as your friend it is my duty to help you," with that said Mina snapped her fingers.

  The doors swung open revealing three woman I had never seen before. All wore beautiful dresses adorned with diamonds and jewels. They were obviously going to the ball tonight.

   "So, we get to tackle her, huh?" The woman with brown hair and green eyes popped her knuckles, making my eyes widen in fear.

   "Yep!" Mina smiled wickedly.

"Lita, we have to be gentle, we can't have you bruise her, that would hardly look respectable," The girl with short black hair and light blue eyes pointed out.

  The ravened hair beauty with long hair falling down her back rolled her eyes, "Get over it Amy," the woman looked me up and down making me feel uncomfortable; "she obviously needs some metal help."

  "Excuse me! How rude of you to talk like that in front of- eek!" I quickly scrambled around the bed as the woman named Lita tried to pounce on me.

  "You don't understand," I jumped onto the bed and tried to cross it only to be cut off by Amy, "I can't go downstairs! I can't wear that! Mina, if you only knew the circumstances…!"

  "Fine, tell me but first lets get you into those undergarments," Mina grabbed my ankle making me fall on my butt on top of the bed.

   Suddenly the raven hair woman grabbed me by the arm, making it impossible to move, and looked me in the eye, "Sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Ray Danmark, officially your worst nightmare."

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  Rini stood up against the door listening to the loud voices coming from inside Aunt ReCinny's bedroom. Earlier she saw Mina enter the room then three other ladies. Now they were making violent noises and she could hear her Aunt shrieking about indecency. What were they doing in there? They weren't hurting her aunt were they?

  "Mina! I'm gonna kill you!"

Rini's eyes widened and she quickly backed away from the door.

  "Ouch! Dang it, Mina, owie! What are you-hey, owie, owie, owie, OWIE! Let go!"

"Not until you let us tighten this thing!"

  "And kill me while you're at it! I haven't worn one of these things since I was sixteen!"

  Laughter was heard.

Rini looked at the door in confusion.

  "Rini!"

Rini turned around to see her mother coming up the stairs, "Get in your room, the ball is about to start."

  "I want to see the ladies!" Rini protested as she was dragged to her room by her mother's firm hand.

  "No, I will not allow you to listen to all the swearing that goes on downstairs. You're too young for all of that."

  Rini pouted. She wanted to kick her mother in the shin but the thought of Aunt ReCinny coming after her with her sharp words and disapproving look stopped her. Despite what her Mother thought, Rini was very concerned what her Aunt thought of her. Something in her just wanted to please her aunt. As for her mother, she could hardly care what she thought. As far as Rini knew, her mother didn't care enough to give her rules or to punish her for being bad. Her mother would let her do whatever she wanted as long as she put up a fight or stomped her foot enough.

  "Now, stay in your room, I don't want to even catch a hair of you downstairs," Ellie sighed, "Is that clear? You can play with your toys and you have a few books that Aunt ReCinny has been kind enough to lend you."

  Rini frowned. She didn't want to play with her toys and she wasn't in the mood to read a book, she wanted to watch the pretty ladies dance downstairs. They all looked like angels from what she saw.

  "Don't frown at me, it's for your own good," Ellie turned to shut the door, "Good night, dear."

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   "Wow!" Mina stared at me.

I stood uncomfortable and feeling exposed in the middle of the room. The four girls were all sitting on my bed, catching their breath and staring at me in awe.

   "What?" I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.

"You would have never thought that you looked like that from the way you dress, Sere," Mina smiled, "You are going to knock all the men dead off their feet."

  My eyes widened as I shook my head.

Mina laughed, "Don't look so shocked, you'll be fine. Now, see for yourself how you look."

  I was scared, scared of what I would see, scared that I would see my sixteen-year-old self in the mirror and see that night happening all over again. Swallowing hard, I stepped in front of my full-length mirror. I gasped, I didn't look sixteen anymore, in fact, I looked even more beautiful then I was at sixteen.

  I wore a darling pink off the shoulder dress, my waist was tight while the rest of my dress flared off my hips into a ball gown with ruffles and layers of pink silk. The dress felt soft against my skin with a light yet present weight against my body. Half my hair was pulled up into a loose bun while the rest of my hair laid in soft curls down my back. 

On top of my head, around my bun, was a crown of soft pink and white blossoms. My face was painted in soft hues that only highlighted my features.

  In short, I looked like a fairy princess.

I almost felt like crying. In ways, I saw my old self but in other ways someone new and unfamiliar stared back at me. It was a nice feeling if a bit odd.

  "Well?" Ray smiled, "What do you think?"

"I think I'm gonna sit down," I moved from the mirror and sat down in my rocking chair, "I don't think I can do this."

  Amy slipped off the bed, making sure to smooth her dress down before approaching me, "I don't know you that well but I can already tell that you are strong and even though this might be scary for you, you'll be fine. At one time or another we all go through this."

  I gave Amy a thankful smile. I knew the girl was trying to help me but it only slightly soothed my nerves.

  "Well!" Mina breathed, "We're late for the ball, we better get down there before it's all over and all the good men are taken."

  Lita laughed, "Trust me, all the good ones are taken before they even make it past the doorway."

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  I followed nervously behind the four girls, hoping that if I just stayed behind them all night that nobody would take notice of me. I hadn't felt this insecure since I was fourteen years old and attending my first dance. Back then, my best friend Darien was there to help me relax but now, I was on my own.

  We descended the stairs and approached the doorway to the ballroom. People miled around us, talking, laughing, and drinking campaign. Beautiful soft music filtered through the room, luring couples onto the dance floor.

  "Oh, look! It's Mr. Birmington," Mina's low thrilled voice announced, "And his companions are with him."

  The girls spread out, making room for me among them. I looked over the room. People were dancing, talking and some young men were even playing sword fight with the celery sticks by the refreshment table.

  Mina grabbed my arm, "See, that's the man I was talking about."

My heart quickened and my throat suddenly felt dry as I looked in that direction. For there across the room, standing by some men and women was Darien Shields, Rini's father.

To Be Continued…

AN: Great! Another chapter done! Someone asked for this so I thought I'd get to it. I don't think this chapter turned out so bad. I will start writing another chapter when I get some reviews. Until next time, Ja ne!


	3. Chapter Three

Title: Our Lullaby  
  
Author: Marie J.W.  
  
Chapter: CHAPTER THREE  
  
Rated: PG  
  
Email: mariejwchan@yahoo.com  
  
URL: www.clik.to/mariejwchan  
  
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Summary:  
  
It all started on a rainy night in June when Lady Serenity ReCinny of   
  
the House of Chesterfield ran away from her home, her rich life and the   
  
ones that she dearly loved… And all for what? …A baby.  
  
This story is about a woman who sacrifices everything: her family, her   
  
best friend and her joy of life all for one little infant who doesn't even   
  
know her own mother.  
  
AN: This is an alternate reality that takes place in the early 1800's.   
  
This is a Serena/Darien fan fic.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
…Memory…  
  
Dizziness swam before startling blue eyes as a young blonde elf spun   
  
around and around, giggling at the strange out of world feeling. The lights   
  
were bright and dozens of colors swirled around.  
  
"Serenity! Serenity, stop that," Suddenly the blonde was stopped by a   
  
firm grip on her shoulder. The girl's guardian looked down at her peite   
  
form, "You'll make yourself sick doing that."  
  
Serenity blinked the dizziness away and looked smiling up at Miss Late,   
  
"I'm fine, it was fun!" Glancing at the colorful dancers, Serenity   
  
added, "Everything else is so boring."  
  
"Nonsense, girl, dancing is quite fun if you give it a chance,"   
  
Late's eyes softened, "You should put your dance lessons to good use."  
  
"But I hate dance lessons!" Serenity wailed quietly.  
  
Leta shook her head and sighed, "That's only because you have to do it…   
  
now, look there's a young man," Leta nodded in a direction and Serenity   
  
followed with her eyes, "See, I believe he would like to dance with you."  
  
The young man stood a little under five feet as he leaned against a   
  
wall near a large drapped window. He was watching the young blonde girl   
  
and her guardian although he could not hear what they said, the   
  
girl's expressions were quite entertaining.  
  
Serenity stared back at the boy. He had dark black hair that seemed just   
  
a tad too long for it fell over his dark blue eyes and his skin was tanner   
  
than her's. She was extremly pale while he seemed to have a heathy tan   
  
from being outside. He smiled at her and she blinked in surprise   
  
before hesitating a bit of a smile herself. He smiled wider in return   
  
and imediately she knew she liked him.  
  
Turning to Late, Serenity whispered, "I would like to speak with him,   
  
what shall I do?"  
  
"Just go talk to him, of course," Late smiled, "I'll be near by if you   
  
need anything."  
  
Serenity nodded and as gracefully as she could she came up to the boy,   
  
"My name is Serenity," she imediately offered.  
  
The boy grinned and stood up strait, "Darien, my name's Darien. Serenity's   
  
a pretty name."  
  
Serenity blushed, "Thank you."  
  
"It sounds kind of…" The boy named Darien stopped for dramatic   
  
effect, "fragile."  
  
  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Are you made of glass?" He leaned down so they were eye to eye.   
  
He seemingly inspected her.  
  
Serenity wrinkled her nose, "Of course not! What… oh, you… you…   
  
what is you're point?"  
  
"Care to race me to the Grandfather tree? I bet you can't climb it   
  
to the top!"  
  
"Ha! How dare you and just for that I will win that bet!" With that   
  
Serenity took off past the guests and out the door, towards the towering   
  
old tree a half a mile away.  
  
  
  
…End of Memory…  
  
I blinked as I suddenly realized I had blanked out… I had just daydreamed!   
  
Oh, how embaressing. I looked to my left to find Mina looking at me   
  
oddly.  
  
Ducking my head I quickly offered an apology.  
  
"Your first party in years and you blank out at the enterance. Man, this   
  
really must be a lame party," Mina chuckled, "but not to worry, we'll liven   
  
it up. Come on, girls, lets go meet the new men in town."  
  
Sighing, I followed Mina hesitantly. I really, really did NOT want to   
  
see Darien Chiba just then. For goodness sakes, he was going to recognize me   
  
and then… and then… well, whatever happened would definitely not turn out   
  
good.  
  
Lita practically had to push me forward from behind as we slowly began to   
  
get closer to Darien. And then to my utter dismay, we were there,   
  
standing nearly in front of him. I felt sick, I wanted to run and hurl my   
  
lunch outside but Lita and Ray stood behind me, keeping me from running.  
  
Darien chuckled at something the blonde man said and then with Mina's   
  
cherry voice he turned in our direction and then all seemed to go silent.   
  
I couldn't even hear myself breath. Dark blue eyes. Time seemed to go on   
  
forever as I stared at them. I couldn't understand the emotion running   
  
through them nor the depth. What must he think?  
  
Lita elbowed me and that was when I realized I wasn't breathing. With   
  
whoosh of air I exhaled then inhaled greedily, chocking on my own breath.   
  
Amy gently patted me on the back and asked if I was alright. I shook my head   
  
but she didn't seem to understand or did but still didn't do anything about   
  
it for none of the girls made my excuse to leave.  
  
"My dear girl, are you alright? You look quite pale," I heard one of the   
  
men say.  
  
"She always did." Darien.  
  
My eyes widened, my coughing stopped and I looked up at Darien in   
  
surprise.  
  
It didn't appear that the man beside him heard him for he didn't comment.   
  
Oh, what humilation! I had to get out of here! I couldn't stay here, not   
  
while he was here in the room! I had made enough of a scene, if I could   
  
just leave everything would be fine, everything would go back to normal.  
  
I quickly turned to Mina, "Excuse me, please," I quickly left the   
  
ballroom, pushing past people in my rush, careless of what they thought   
  
of me. I doubt they recogized me anyway in this dress and make-up.   
  
My dress brushed passed the front enterance and the legs of the men and   
  
women coming in on my other side. I felt ill, my stomach clenched and my   
  
eyes felt watery. It was then that I realized tears were falling from my   
  
eyes. Had seeing Darien again caused that? What for?  
  
I missed him.  
  
But I couldn't dwell on those feelings, no matter how much I missed my once   
  
best friend, I couldn't claim him as my own, not ever.  
  
I was barely aware of passing Rini who sat on the bottom steps of the stairs   
  
as I ran out the back door to the mansion. I have to get out of here!   
  
I can't breathe!  
  
----  
  
Suddenly, out of the calm chatter of the ballroom, shot out a beautiful   
  
blonde woman in a pink dress. Rini watched with wide eyes at the woman's   
  
obvious distressful countainance. The woman looked oddly familiar and   
  
Rini wasn't quite sure what to think of that. The woman had tears streaming   
  
down her beautiful face while her pink lips qivered. Rini's heart went out   
  
to the woman. What could have caused such a mournful face? The woman shot   
  
past her and out the backdoor. Rini frowned, had the woman been here before?   
  
How did she know where the backdoor was?  
  
Seconds later, a young man, looking equally upset, bolted from the   
  
enterance, making people stare at him in confussion and curiosity. The young   
  
man was tall with dark hair and dark blue eyes. He desperately searched   
  
around the hallway, looking for someone.  
  
Rini watched the man with curosity. Was he looking for the blonde   
  
woman?  
  
Suddenly the man set his eyes on her, making Rini's eyes widen. The young   
  
man quickly approched her, "Have you seen a young blonde woman in a pink   
  
dress pass by here?"  
  
Suddenly Rini wasn't so sure she wanted to help this man. What if he had   
  
caused the pretty woman to cry? Bitting her lip, Rini looked away from the   
  
man's questioning eyes, "Mmmm… May I ask why you are looking for her?"  
  
The man studied the young girl. By her youth and her everyday appreance,   
  
this young thing was not part of the ball.  
  
"Please, if you know where she went, tell me. I must discuss   
  
something important with her."  
  
Rini looked at the man before her. He almost looked desparate and…   
  
something else she couldn't quite define. Sighing, Rini nodded and   
  
pointed towards the back door, "Go that way, she went out to the   
  
gardens most likely." Where else would a beautiful lady go?  
  
The man nodded to her gratefully and practically ran in that   
  
direction.  
  
There was something familiar about that man, Rini thought.  
  
---  
  
Falling back onto the hay, I finally let the bitter tears run frealy from   
  
my eyes. I was probably ruining Mina's make-up work but I didn't care.   
  
I wish that Mina wouldn't have made me come. I would have stayed in my room   
  
or spent my time tucking Rini into bed and wouldn't have known any   
  
better. Darien would never know I was there and I would be safe. Now what was   
  
I going to do? Would I have to leave? I can't leave Rini! I sobbed   
  
harder.  
  
Through my tears I thought I heard someone calling my name. Stopping my   
  
sobbing for a second, I listened. When silence remained, I sighed and   
  
hicupped. I had to remain calm. This situation couldn't be any worse then   
  
when all this first happened, could it? I would just have to take Rini   
  
from Ellie and John and bring her with me north. Maybe I could get work   
  
there and support Rini somehow.  
  
The barn doors suddenly swung open. My eyes widened and I panicked as   
  
I saw Darien walk steadily through the doors and strait for me, his eyes   
  
locked on mine. I gasped and quickly looked for a way out. The only way out   
  
was the doors behind Darien and the large window up on the loft.   
  
Quickly scrambling to my feet, pulling up my dress so I could run,   
  
I scampered off towards the ladder.  
  
"Serenity! Don't you dare!" I heard him yell behind me.  
  
I dared and quickly climbed the ladder. My foot slipped in a couple   
  
places and then I felt Darien put his body weight on the ladder, which   
  
only made me more clumsy.  
  
"I swear, Serena, you have some answering to do!" He was right behind me,   
  
his voice almost blared in my ear. I finally made it to the top and with   
  
out looking back slammed my body agaist the side of the window and looked   
  
down. A large stack of hay lay before me. Gosh, I hadn't jumped off one of   
  
these since I was fourteen!  
  
I felt more than heard Darien approch the top of the ladder. I glanced back   
  
at him and saw his dark eyes looking at me with frustration and anger.  
  
"Serena…" He warned.  
  
I glanced at the drop off before glancing back at him. Better to break a   
  
leg then have to talk to the monster! I quickly jumped. I shreaked as   
  
wind passed me and lifted my skirt and the many ruffles underneath it.   
  
I landed hard against some prickly hay and moaned. Great. Opening my eyes,   
  
I found Darien staring down at me from the top of the barn. Gasping,   
  
I quickly tried to get some footing.  
  
And then I felt it, another weight coming down on the hay. I screamed and   
  
tried to scramble from the body that lay just beside me but I was too late.   
  
He grabbed my legs which made me scream even more.  
  
"Serena! Be quite!"  
  
"No!" I screamed, I couldn't be caught! He couldn't know, he   
  
couldn't understand! I pulled at the hay, trying to squirm away from him   
  
but it was useless. Suddenly I was flipped over. I slammed my eyes shut   
  
tight calling on the little girl in me that said if you can't see them,   
  
they can't see you.  
  
Darien's breath was hard against my cheek and it made me shudder.  
  
"What is wrong with you? You act like I'm a stranger! I'm not going to hurt   
  
you although right now I really feel like giving you a good spanking! Now,   
  
open your eyes."  
  
Biting my bottom lip, I carefully opened one eye and then the other.   
  
Darien was staring down at me, his hands locking my wrist in place and   
  
his legs over mine to keep from kicking him. I was trapped.  
  
His eyes softened a bit as he looked at me, "Where have you been?"  
  
I felt like crying and my eyes immediately began to moisten. I looked away,   
  
not wanting him to see me cry. I was strong! I had been strong for years,   
  
why did I have to go all mushy now?  
  
"Sere?"  
  
I hadn't heard that name from his lips in forever and just that thought made   
  
me let out a short sob. I quickly held my breath and tried to calm myself   
  
down.  
  
He sighed above me, "You have no idea how worried we were about you!   
  
We thought you had been kidnapped by gipsies or worse! Your father and   
  
I looked everywhere and then I find out you're at your sisters house?   
  
I thought you two hated each other?"  
  
"I…" I tried to voice something but I didn't know what. I didn't want   
  
to tell him, he would only feel like he owned me something. He would   
  
ruin his name as well as his honest reputation. He didn't deserve what   
  
I would tell him, did he? But then another part of me argued that he   
  
deseved to know that he had a daughter. Which do I choose?  
  
He waited patiently for me to answer his questions.  
  
Sighing, I looked at him, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… I mess up and things   
  
just didn't…" a sob almost escaped me but I held it back, "I can't tell you!   
  
If you knew… you would hate me and you would hate yourself! I can't!"  
  
"Knew WHAT?" He suddenly wasn't so calm anymore, "Knew what? What made   
  
you leave? Did someone abuse you, made you feel unwelcome in your home?   
  
What is it? Did I do something? What made you leave?" Darien was yelling   
  
now.  
  
I sobbed, "It's me! Please, just leave and promise not to tell Daddy!   
  
Promise!"  
  
He stared at me, "I won't promise that. In fact," He suddenly sat up and   
  
yanked me up with him, "I'm taking you home, where you belong."  
  
"What?" My eyes widened, "No! You can't! I… I… not without… I can't!"  
  
He looked at me strangly, "Not without what? We'll get your things. But   
  
I'm not leaving you here with your sister. I don't care what you think is   
  
wrong with your home but your father loves you and I-" He stopped there,   
  
"You are going home and you're going to explain."  
  
"No!" I screamed and tried to pull my wrist from his grip, "Darien, it's   
  
my life now! I'm not a little girl anymore, I want to stay here."  
  
Suddenly his face was extremely close to mine as he looked into my eyes.   
  
My breath caught in my throat.  
  
"Do you really want to stay with Ellie? With John? Do you really NOT want   
  
to see your father?"  
  
I felt torn. I did, I wanted to go home and live my real life again,   
  
I wanted to be me without this disguise but I also knew that I couldn't   
  
leave Rini with Ellie and John.  
  
He must have seen the conflit in my eyes for his expression turned   
  
thoughtful, "What is holding you back?"  
  
My eyes widened in fear. Was it that obvious?  
  
"I can't tell you," I stated plainly, "I should but I can't."  
  
"I am-was you're best friend, Sere, how can you not tell me?!"  
  
"Aunt ReCinny?!"  
  
  
  
My stomach clenched in fear. I turned my head and found Rini at the end of   
  
the hay loft staring at me and Darien. Oh no! Not now!  
  
----  
  
To Be Continued… 


	4. Chapter Four

Title: Our Lullaby  
  
Author: Marie J.W.  
  
Chapter: CHAPTER THREE  
  
Rated: PG  
  
Email: mariejwchan@yahoo.com  
  
URL: www.clik.to/mariejwchan  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Summary:  
  
It all started on a rainy night in June when Lady Serenity ReCinny of   
  
the House of Chesterfield ran away from her home, her rich life and the   
  
ones that she dearly loved… And all for what? …A baby.  
  
This story is about a woman who sacrifices everything: her family, her   
  
best friend and her joy of life all for one little infant who doesn't even   
  
know her own mother.  
  
AN: This is an alternate reality that takes place in the early 1800's.   
  
This is a Serena/Darien fan fic.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Aunt ReCinny?" This time the question came from Darien. The girl   
  
had obviously startled him for his eyes were wide and his expression   
  
confused. He looked down at me with a question in his eyes.  
  
I swallowed, "Uh…"  
  
I turned to see Rini climbing up the hay loft towards us. Great, great,   
  
great, this is NOT what I need right now. She was supposed to be in bed,   
  
not here! Now what is Darien going to say? Will he find out? Will he guess?   
  
I can't let him! I've come this far.  
  
Rini made it and kneeled down beside us, "Who is he, Aunt ReCinny, and   
  
why are you in that dress?"  
  
I struggled to say something, anything to solve this problem. Darien let   
  
go of one of my wrists but still held the other one tight. He held out his   
  
other hand to Rini and addressed her, "My name is Darien, what's yours?"  
  
Rini smiled and shook Darien's hand, "Rini… Rini Starant," she then   
  
looked at me, "Why are you wearing that dress? You don't go to parties."   
  
She looked confused and curious at the same time.  
  
I sighed and refused to answer her question, "Aren't you supposed to be   
  
in your room?"  
  
She frowned, "So, I can be up! It's not fair that the others are up and   
  
I have to stay in bed. Grown-up's always get to have fun!"  
  
I frowned back, "Lady Rini, you know what your mother said-"  
  
"So what! She doesn't care."  
  
"Rini!" I snapped, "Go back to bed and mind your mother."  
  
Rini stuck up her chin and ignored me, turning to Darien. I glared at   
  
her, promising her a death sentence. How dare she be so insulting! She then   
  
put puppy dog eyes on Darien, "How come you wanted to talk to Aunt ReCinny?   
  
Do you know her? Did you make her cry?" Suddenly her eyes turned one shade   
  
darker.  
  
Darien smiled softly and leaned towards her, "Sere-Your Aunt ReCinny and   
  
I are friends. We just needed to get reacquainted. And... did I make her   
  
cry?" He glanced at me and I turned away, refusing to let him out of this   
  
one, "Yes, I probably did."  
  
"You shouldn't have made her cry, Aunt ReCinny never cries," Rini   
  
placed her fists on her waist, giving Darien the evil eye.  
  
I was pleased to find Darien looking somewhat grieved since he chased   
  
me around everywhere and had the gall to show up after all these years.   
  
If he hadn't come none of this would be happening.  
  
"She never cries?" Darien asked, somewhat surprised.  
  
"No, she always has a stern face and she doesn't cry and she never looks sad."  
  
I could tell Darien was getting even more confused and frustrated.   
  
I about had enough.  
  
"Rini, that's enough. Please go back to your room. You're mother   
  
might check up on you."  
  
"She never does. She's too busy dancing."  
  
I pulled my other hand out of Darien's grip and glared at Rini, "You are such   
  
a disagreeable little girl. It's about time you started thinking of   
  
others instead of yourself. When your mother tells you to go to bed, you   
  
had better do it Rini. If you want to grow up to be a Lady you have to   
  
be respectful and mind your elders. I thought you knew better. Now, go to   
  
bed."  
  
Rini lifted her chin for only a moment before lowering it back down   
  
again and biting her lip. I could tell I had hurt her feelings again but   
  
I didn't know how else to get to her. She sighed, "Yes, Aunt ReCinny,"   
  
She lifted her head again and nodded her head towards Darien, "Good night,   
  
sir."  
  
We watched her slide back down the hay stack and walk slowly back to   
  
the house. I bit my lip. It always hurt me to see her like that. She was   
  
such a willful girl.  
  
"She's sweet," Darien said.  
  
"Yes…" I smiled sadly then remembered where we were. I coughed lightly, "Well,   
  
I better go inside too. It's past my bedtime. It was nice seeing you   
  
again Darien." I tried to get up but he put a hand on my shoulder and pushed   
  
me back down.  
  
"We're not done yet, Sere, I have a few questions."  
  
I sighed and felt like rolling myself into a ball, "Not right now. I can't   
  
tell you everything."  
  
"Fine, just one question… for now."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You know as well as I that Ellen can't have children. How in the   
  
world does she have a daughter?"  
  
"She just does! The doctors were mistaken!" I said a little too   
  
forcefully, I shook my head, "I… she just does… just take it as it is,   
  
please?"  
  
He looked suspicious but nodded, "I… don't believe you Sere, but…   
  
I'll leave it at that for now."  
  
I sighed, very grateful, "Can I go now? I'm tired."  
  
He nodded, "But I want to talk to you tomorrow."  
  
Groaning, I nodded, "Alright." Hopefully, I'll think of something   
  
and things will be back to normal tomorrow.  
  
"Good. Do you want me to walk you to your room?"  
  
"No, I'll be fine… thanks," I stood up and slid off the hayloft. Then I made   
  
my way back to the house. I could tell Darien was watching me, probably   
  
trying to figure me out. I entered the house and shut the door behind me.   
  
I leaned against it for a moment and sighed. This day was a nightmare as well   
  
as a blessing. I only hope Rini doesn't figure it out before Darien.  
  
-----  
  
Dressed in my black silk dress, black shoes, and with my hair pinned up   
  
in a tight bun, I looked at myself in the mirror. I no longer saw the girl   
  
that existed last night. I was now back to the stone woman that I had been   
  
for the last four years.   
  
Leaving my room, I shut the door and smoothed down my skirt. I looked   
  
down the hallway to find Rini leaning over the banister in a blue ruffled   
  
dress and a blue ribbon in her curly hair. She seemed interested in   
  
something going on down below.  
  
"Aren't you going to eat breakfast, Lady Rini?" I asked as I   
  
approached her.  
  
"Look, it's that man from last night," She pointed.  
  
I looked down and felt my heart drop. Darien was below talking quietly but   
  
quite animatedly with my sister Ellen. Neither one looked very happy. I   
  
sighed and closed my eyes, trying to gather my wits.  
  
Opening my eyes, I lifted my head, "Alright Rini, that's enough.   
  
Let's go down and eat breakfast. You have lots of studies to do today."  
  
Sighing loudly, she nodded, "I bet Mother doesn't like Darien…   
  
I think Darien is a nice man. Why would Mother be mad at him? Do you   
  
think he made her cry too?"  
  
I listened to her chatter as we descended the stairs. We made it to   
  
the bottom and that is when Ellen and Darien noticed us. They   
  
immediately stopped talking and turned to us. Ellen had a frown on her   
  
face while Darien's expression related to shock or surprise. It wasn't   
  
until we got closer that I realized he was looking at my dress and hair.   
  
Oh. I felt kind of embarrassed. He wasn't used to seeing me like this.  
  
"Morning Ellen, Darien," I nodded towards them, "I didn't expect you   
  
to be here this early, Mr. Chiba."  
  
He frowned at me, "I thought I would get an early start," He was   
  
still looking at my appearance. I frowned back at him. He noticed and   
  
brought his eyes back to my face.  
  
Ellen shifted on her feet with impatience, "So, you're the one that   
  
invited Mr. Chiba back?"  
  
"He insisted," I looked strait at Darien as I said this before turning   
  
a not-so-sweet smile on my sister, "Is breakfast ready?"  
  
"I'm sure it is…"  
  
I nodded and we all entered the dinning room. Rini waved at Darien who   
  
smiled back. John was already seated at the head of the table with a   
  
newspaper in his lap.  
  
"Are you finally done arguing, Ellen?" He never took his eyes off   
  
the newspaper.  
  
Ellen glared at her husband as she seated, "We shall see," she glanced   
  
at Darien who was seating himself on the other side of John.  
  
I sat next to Ellen and Rini took a seat next to Darien. She was   
  
obviously already attached to him. A part of me was thrilled with the   
  
idea while the other part only brought apprehension.  
  
Breakfast was quiet except for Rini asking questions of Darien ever   
  
so often. She asked him if he liked horses, if he ever played chess and   
  
if he was married. Darien replied to all her questions with a yes and a   
  
smile, except for the last question which he answered with a no and a   
  
frown.  
  
---  
  
After breakfast, I found myself sitting in the parlor-room with Darien   
  
standing across the room on the opposite end. I listened to the clock tick   
  
and the tree branches next to the window tap the pane every few seconds.  
  
I took a deep breath of air and then let it out slowly.  
  
"Why are you dressed like that?"  
  
I blinked and looked up at Darien. THAT was his first question? I   
  
clenched my teeth, "That is my business, not yours."  
  
"Fine," he began pacing the room, "Will you come with me?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why?" He stopped to look at me.  
  
"I… I like it here. I have family here."  
  
"Oh? What about your father?"  
  
I swallowed and lowered my head so he wouldn't see the longing in them,   
  
"I will… write him."  
  
"I don't believe you. You know as well as I that he will come here and   
  
try to bring you home."  
  
"Please, Darien," I looked up at him, "You don't understand. There   
  
are certain things tying me here."  
  
He looked at me, trying to figure me out; I could tell he was examining   
  
me. Finally he looked away, "Is it a man?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Are you engaged? Are you seeing someone?" He bit out the questions harshly.  
  
"No! No, of course not! I… no, look at me Darien, why would any man in   
  
his right mind want to marry me like this, let alone court me?"  
  
He lifted an eyebrow and looked at me questioningly, "Are you saying   
  
you dress like that to discourage men?"  
  
I didn't answer.  
  
"Why in the world would you do that?"  
  
I couldn't tell him all my reasons, although that was one of them.   
  
I couldn't let another man get close to me; it would only make   
  
things complicated.  
  
  
  
He sighed loudly, "Okay, okay… let's go over a few things, shall we?   
  
First, I'm not leaving without you. Second, you're not happy here. No,   
  
don't deny it; I can see it in your eyes. And third, I know you love your   
  
father but hate your sister. Now, what is wrong with this picture?"  
  
Biting my lip, I stood up and began to pace. I had to think of something   
  
to stop him, to make him go back.  
  
"You won't come up with anything, Serenity. I know you too well. I   
  
know you don't want to be here, I know you want to see your father and I   
  
know that you will come home with me."  
  
"You're too sure of yourself, Darien."  
  
"Am I?"  
  
I opened my mouth to object but I realized I couldn't. He was right.   
  
I wanted all those things. I wanted to go back home and stop living this   
  
life.  
  
What about Rini? I couldn't leave without her? Would she want this?   
  
And then it hit me and I felt like I wanted to die.   
  
I looked out the window to find Rini, the very person of my   
  
thoughts, sitting outside, out in the wind, on a bench, shoving her feet   
  
into the dirt. Her back was facing me but I knew by the slouch in her   
  
shoulders and the hard digging of her feet that she wasn't happy today.   
  
In fact, now that I thought about it, she was never really happy. She was   
  
always so serious, demanding, complaining, frowning, crying, being   
  
disagreeable and being disrespectful. The only thing I could truly think   
  
of that made her the least bit happy was her horse Ally.  
  
I wiped away the tears that had fallen and looked away from the   
  
window. Here, all this time, I had wanted to make her happy, give her   
  
a real family, a whole family and Ellen and John had not fulfilled that   
  
hole in her heart.  
  
Was I such a terrible mother to let her go so easily? She was happy   
  
once with me, laughing all the time and discovering new things with   
  
such interest. And then… when I let her go, she just stopped being so   
  
happy. What went wrong? What changed so much?  
  
"Darien, I'll be back, don't move! Please, I'll be right back!"   
  
I ran out of the room and out the front door without even grabbing a cloak.   
  
I found the bench she was sitting on and quickly walked over to her. I wiped   
  
the stray tears from my eyes and carefully sat down next to her. She glanced   
  
my way but didn't say anything.  
  
I sighed, "Rini?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"It's 'yes' not 'yeah'," then kicking myself for correcting her I   
  
quickly added, "Are you happy?"  
  
Her head whipped up and her eyes looked a bit startled.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
Tears seemed to fill her eyes before she quickly looked back down   
  
at the dirt.  
  
My heart broke. She was unhappy.  
  
"Rini? Why not?"  
  
She sniffed, "You wouldn't understand. You don't like me very much."  
  
I stiffened, "What? Rini, I lov- you're my favorite niece, of course I   
  
like you. It's just… I want you to be a good girl and- Please, Rini, tell me.   
  
I promise to listen."  
  
Rini let out a shuddered breath of air before answering, "No one   
  
ikes me, I don't have any friends, mother just complains and then tells   
  
me I'm an angel at the end of the day, she doesn't give me rules or… um…   
  
she tells me what to do but then she doesn't do anything about it, she   
  
just-" She broke off crying, "No body cares weather I'm good or bad except   
  
you and you don't like me very much."  
  
"I'm sorry-"  
  
"And then Mother got mad at me for liking Darien… that friend of yours.   
  
She says he is a bad man and that I shouldn't talk to him. Father told me I   
  
was being disrespectful to my mother when all I was trying to tell her was   
  
that I liked him anyway. He told me to go to my room," Her head snapped up,   
  
"Oh, please Aunt ReCinny! Don't send me to my room! And don't tell Father!"  
  
I looked away from her as tears fell down my face. I was an awful   
  
mother. John and Ellen knew nothing about raising a daughter and I, the   
  
only person that did, acted like an unfeeling Aunt that only told her what   
  
she looked like socially. No wonder she rebelled so much. She wasn't   
  
being treated like a person, like a loved daughter… I was a terrible   
  
mother.  
  
"Aunt ReCinny? Are you crying?"  
  
I took a deep breath and once again wiped the tears from my cheeks,   
  
"I'm fine, Rini. I'm sorry you're not happy," I turned and looked down   
  
at her, "I'm so sorry and it's entirely my fault. I've been a terrible   
  
Aunt, you deserve so much more."  
  
And then she hugged me. A choked sob escape me, one that I couldn't   
  
hold back. She hadn't hugged me in years! I slowly wrapped my arms around   
  
her and began rocking her back and forth, "I'm so sorry, Rini, I'm so   
  
sorry. I'll make it better, I promise."  
  
Rini hugged me tighter and I felt like crying harder but I knew if   
  
I did that she would only ask more questions that I knew I couldn't answer.   
  
I didn't want to leave her but I had to talk to Darien. I slowly and   
  
carefully unwound her arms from around me and for the first time I   
  
smiled sincerely, "Thank you, Rini."  
  
Her eyes were also teary, "You're welcome… I think," she looked   
  
adorably confused, "How are you going to make it better?"  
  
"I just am. Things might be different. And… you might not like it all   
  
but it will be good for the both of us, I hope."  
  
When the confusion in her eyes didn't leave, I sighed, "Just trust   
  
me, okay?"  
  
She nodded and I continued, "I need to go talk to my friend. Okay?"  
  
She nodded again.  
  
"Don't stay out here too long. You don't want to catch cold."  
  
With that I stood up, wiped the tears from my eyes and walked inside.   
  
I found Darien standing at the window. Had he been watching us? I walked in,   
  
and cleared my throat.  
  
"You're attached to her, aren't you? Is that what's stopping you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you coming?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What?" He spun around and looked at me with surprise on his face.  
  
I smiled, "I'm going home… but not without Rini."  
  
His brow scrunched up, "But… Rini is Ellen's daughter. I don't think   
  
she will let her go."  
  
"She has to," I nodded my head, "When do you want to leave?"  
  
"Uh…" he seemed to have to gather his thoughts, "The day after tomorrow.   
  
I have some things to tie up here first."  
  
"We'll be ready."  
  
---  
  
That night, I entered Ellen's room. John was out playing cards with   
  
some business men. Ellen sat at her vanity, pulling pins out of her soft   
  
blonde hair. I sat down at the end of her bed, on her hope chest.  
  
"If I knew that Mr. Chiba would be coming to the party the other night   
  
I would have insisted that John dis-invited him. He had no right coming   
  
here this morning. I thought you hated that man."  
  
"I don't hate him. I hate myself. Ellen, I'm going with Darien. I'm   
  
going home."  
  
She stopped and turned around, "Are you serious? You would leave me?"  
  
"I have to, Ellen; it's been far too long. They didn't even know if I was   
  
alive or not. I have to go home. I want to be me again, Ellen. I want to   
  
see Father and I want to live a normal life. I don't want to be the stern   
  
Aunt anymore."  
  
She rolled her eyes, "You want to go back and see that old man. He   
  
was hardly interesting. But I guess he always liked you more. So… go, go   
  
back home, I'll just raise Rini on my own."  
  
I took a deep breath, "Ellen, I'm taking Rini with me."  
  
Her eyes went wide, "WHAT?!"  
  
"I'm taking her with me. She is my daughter, Ellen, not yours."  
  
"Of course she's mine! You gave her to me!"  
  
"Just until I could figure out what to do! I was lost and alone.   
  
I was a young single mother, Ellen! You have to let me take her."  
  
"I will not," She stood up away from her vanity and started pacing   
  
the room, "She is my daughter now, you gave her up."  
  
"I did NOT give her up! You know that. I told you that I needed you to   
  
take care of her until I knew what to do. I know what to do now, Ellen. She   
  
is going back to live with her Grandfather. She needs family and at home   
  
there are children her age. Here there are only elders and older teenagers."  
  
"So, you will just take her and go with that stupid ass, Darien Chiba,   
  
the one that got you in this mess in the first place!"  
  
I felt like slapping her, "You don't know what you're talking   
  
about, Ellen."  
  
"I do too! Remember, I was there when you came crying to me, asking   
  
for help. You told me the whole story!"  
  
"Then you weren't listening! Because I also told you that it wasn't   
  
his entire fault. It was mine, too Ellen, mine too! I love him and I will   
  
not let him ruin his reputation and the respect he has earned."  
  
"And what about you?" She sneered, "If you take Rini, they will   
  
wonder whose child she is, what are you going to tell them?"  
  
"I don't know yet but if I have to I will tell the truth. I definitely   
  
plan on telling Father, he at least deserves that."  
  
"What? Are you serious? He will disown you!"  
  
"Then so be it! But I am taking Rini and living away from this hell hole,   
  
do you understand? There is nothing you can do about it, Ellen. I know you   
  
want to keep Rini because she is the only daughter you can ever have, but   
  
you must settle for being her Aunt as I have."  
  
"I will not! What will society say when MY daughter goes missing?"  
  
"Tell them the truth, Ellen!" I yelled.  
  
Her face went ashen.  
  
"I'm sorry, Ellen. But you have to understand, Rini isn't happy here. She's   
  
not happy and she hasn't been truly been happy in a long time."  
  
"She's happy! Of course, she's happy! She has me for a mother! I give   
  
her everything she could ever want! I give her pretty clothes, dolls, toys,   
  
a large pink canopy bed, and a horse! She has everything she could ever   
  
want here!"  
  
"Did it ever occur to you that that's not what she needs? I told you not   
  
to buy her all that. I knew that it wouldn't satisfy her."  
  
"Oh, that's right. Mother gave you everything you needed. But you know   
  
what; our mother never gave anything real to me or to you!"  
  
I felt my lower lip quiver, "I swear, if you speak of Mother like   
  
that again, so help me I will let this temper go. She suffered everything!   
  
So, don't go disgracing her name!"  
  
Silence issued.  
  
We stared each other down, neither of us moving but both of us breathing   
  
hard.  
  
"I will never let her go!"  
  
I straitened up and smoothed down my skirt, "We shall see about that.   
  
I will take her the day after tomorrow. You better get your act together   
  
by then."  
  
"She won't be there."  
  
-------  
  
To Be Continued… 


	5. Chapter Five

Title: Our Lullaby  
  
Author: Marie J.W.  
  
Chapter: CHAPTER FIVE  
  
Rated: PG  
  
Email: mariejwchan@yahoo.com  
  
URL: www.clik.to/mariejwchan  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Summary:  
  
It all started on a rainy night in June when Lady Serenity ReCinny of   
  
the House of Chesterfield ran away from her home, her rich life and the   
  
ones that she dearly loved… And all for what? …A baby.  
  
This story is about a woman who sacrifices everything: her family, her   
  
best friend and her joy of life all for one little infant who doesn't even   
  
know her own mother.  
  
AN: This is an alternate reality that takes place in the early 1800's.   
  
This is a Serena/Darien fan fic.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
…Rini's Dream…  
  
The evening sunset basked into the room, giving it a warm safe feeling   
  
for Rini. She sat on her mothers lap as her mother rocked her back and forth   
  
on an old rocking chair. She snuggled into her mothers lap and sighed,   
  
burying her face in her mother's chest. For once, she felt tired and   
  
sleepy. Today had been a long day of romping through the woods and playing   
  
hide and go seek with her mother.  
  
Suddenly she felt the comforting feeling of her mother's voice   
  
vibrating against her ear. She was softly singing her bedtime song. She   
  
sang it every night to her and the song comforted her. Smiling tiredly,   
  
Rini put her thumb in her mouth only to have it taken away by her   
  
mother's gentle hand. Sighing, Rini looked up at her mother only to   
  
find her still singing with that soft smile on her face. The shadows   
  
of the room covered her eyes but she could still see her long blonde   
  
hair falling over her shoulder.  
  
Giving into the sweet melody, Rini cuddled closer and closed her   
  
eyes, listening to her mother's unique voice, singing so softly…like   
  
an angel.  
  
…Darling dear, darling dear  
  
Love carries sweet dreams for you  
  
Darling dear, darling dear  
  
Your dreams will fly into years  
  
Baby, mine, close your eyes,  
  
All will be better in time.  
  
You will never have to fear  
  
For your mother…will be…always here.  
  
Darling dear, darling dear  
  
My precious one, don't fear  
  
Many sweet dreams are to come.  
  
Let me sing you into dreams  
  
Of my love…for…you…  
  
-----  
  
"Rini… Rini… darling, you must get up," Ellen finished throwing   
  
her daughters things into a travel chest, "Rini, get up."  
  
Rini shifted under her blanket, not wanting to leave the comfort of   
  
her warm hideaway. Blinking her eyes, Rini realized she was no long sleeping   
  
in her mother's arms but in a nice warm bed. Feeling slightly disappointed,   
  
Rini turned around. Her mother stood by a large travel chest. She frowned,   
  
"Are you going somewhere?"  
  
Ellen smiled, "Yes, dear, we both are. We're going into town and we   
  
must leave now."  
  
Rini looked towards her window and frowned, it was still dark   
  
outside, "Mother?"  
  
Ellen sighed impatiently, "Now, Rini, I will explain on the way.   
  
Now please get dressed."  
  
Rini slowly got out of bed and with her mother's help dressed into a   
  
dark green traveling dress. Her mother put her hair up into a simple bow on   
  
the top of her head then helped her put her traveling boots on. Rini took all   
  
of this in, wondering why they were leaving this early in the morning.   
  
Her mother seemed stressed and impatient.  
  
"Is Aunt ReCinny ready?" Rini asked once her mother was done tying up   
  
her boots. Ellen's head snapped up at her question, "Of course not, she   
  
would only ruin it."  
  
"But she always comes with us!" Rini protested, suddenly feeling   
  
anxiety well up in her stomach. Something must be terribly wrong! They   
  
never went anywhere, or at least she didn't, without Aunt ReCinny!  
  
"Well, she won't this time," Suddenly her mother put on a sweet   
  
but impatient smile, "It will just be the two of us, hm? We'll call it   
  
a bonding trip!"  
  
Still, Rini frowned. She couldn't get rid of the sinking feeling in   
  
her stomach, like something was wrong with this picture, "Where are we   
  
going?"  
  
"I'll tell you in the carriage, but now we must go," She took Rini's   
  
hand and pulled her out of her room and down the stairs. Rini winced.   
  
Her mother's hand on her wrist was painful.  
  
"Aren't we going to eat breakfast?" Rini asked as they passed the   
  
breakfast room. Her mother ignored the question and swung the front doors   
  
open, taking them both out into the dark, "Edward, get the chest in   
  
Lady Rini's room and bring it down to the carriage, we will be waiting,   
  
and be quiet about it. No one should know we're even up."  
  
Rini watched as Edward, their butler, nodded and swiftly went back   
  
into the mansion.  
  
"Mother, I don't want to go. We can go tomorrow, can't we?" Rini   
  
didn't like the feeling in her stomach nor the fear that was creeping up.   
  
For some reason, she felt she needed to clarify this trip with Aunt   
  
ReCinny.  
  
Ellen frowned impatiently at her daughter. She was asking too   
  
many questions, "No, we can't go tomorrow. It will be too late then.   
  
We must go now and I ask you to be quiet and stop asking questions,"   
  
Ellen strained to not snap at the impertinent girl.   
  
Rini was then practically yanked into the carriage. She sat down   
  
hard on the freezing seat, wrapping her arms around herself, wondering   
  
how long this trip would be. She almost wished that Aunt ReCinny would   
  
wake up and tell her what was happening. That was something about Aunt   
  
ReCinny, she always told you point blank what was going on, and if she   
  
didn't, you obviously didn't need to know.  
  
Rini turned to watch her mother, who sat across from her. She was   
  
sitting with a stiff back, her eyes staring out the window, never blinking.   
  
In her lap, her mother's hands twisted around each other nervously. She   
  
looked up at her mother's eyes. They were full of apprehension and fear.   
  
Rini's eyes widened. What were they doing out here?  
  
Just then Edward came out with another butler, carrying two large   
  
travel chests. She felt them put them onto the back of the carriage   
  
before Edward appeared in the window.  
  
"We're all set, milady," He nodded his head at Ellen.  
  
"Very good, let's be off and be quiet about it," She then turned to Rini   
  
and gave her a tight smile, "Everything shall be fine now, darling."  
  
Rini didn't like the look in her mother's eyes, it frightened her.   
  
She'd never seen her mother look at her in such a way.  
  
The carriage jerked as they started down the road. Rini's stomach   
  
seemed to roll into several more knots. Something was definitely wrong   
  
with this situation.  
  
----  
  
I dressed that morning into one of my black dresses. I looked at the   
  
mirror to examine myself. For once, I didn't want to dress as an old maid,   
  
I wanted to look like a soft pleasant woman. I sighed, knowing that this   
  
would have to do. I no longer owned any of my colorful dresses. Taking my   
  
leave downstairs, the first thing I noticed was that it was unusually   
  
quiet. Frowning, I looked down the stairs for a maid or a butler. None   
  
were in sight like they usually were at this time of day. Where was Edward?   
  
He was usually helping Ann cook breakfast, bringing in firewood to heat   
  
the stove.  
  
Walking down the stairs, I listened carefully for any movement. I   
  
reached the bottom then turned towards the dinning room. I found it odd that   
  
I couldn't hear Rini's voice. Turning into the dinning room, I found it   
  
empty. Not even John sat in his usual chair and newspaper in his lap.   
  
I turned around, looking for some sign of someone. I was strangely alone.  
  
Suddenly I knew.  
  
"I will never let her go!"  
  
"She won't be there."  
  
Ellen's voice rang in my ears. No! I fell into a run as I raced up   
  
the stairs to Rini's room. It was bare, except for some books and a   
  
painted picture of her grandparents that sat atop a shelf. I swallowed   
  
hard and quickly turned around screaming, "John! John! Anybody! John!"   
  
No one answered. I ran out the back door to the mansion and raced to the   
  
barn. She had to be in the barn with Ally. I burst into the barn,   
  
looking towards Ally's stall. Ally was there but Rini was not. Tears   
  
began to find their way into my eyes. No, Ellen wouldn't! She couldn't!   
  
I ran back into the mansion and stood in the middle of the entryway.   
  
I must have been standing there for a long time for somebody suddenly came   
  
up behind me, "Lady ReCinny? Are you alright?"  
  
I jumped and spun around. It was Ann! I quickly took her two hands in   
  
mine, "Have you seen Lady Rini and Ellen? Did they go somewhere? Why   
  
isn't breakfast ready?"  
  
Ann looked clearly confused, "I… I'm sorry milady. Lady Ellen and   
  
Miss Rini went into town early this morning and Master John left not much   
  
later for a business trip. I thought you had gone with Lady Ellen or I   
  
would have cooked breakfast for you. I'm sorry. I shall get to that right   
  
way…" She began to move away but I wouldn't let her.  
  
"Ann, please, when did they leave and where?"  
  
Ann looked down at my desperate hands then into my eyes, "They left about   
  
five this morning, milady, I believe it was to take Miss Rini to get   
  
some education of some sort. To a ladies school, I believe. Didn't you   
  
know milady?"  
  
I felt sick. I dropped Ann's hands as I stared blankly at the wall   
  
behind her, "Ann, I won't be eating breakfast this morning, so don't worry   
  
about fixing any," I glanced at her worried expression, "It's okay.   
  
Please, don't keep me from your duties."  
  
"Are you sure? You look pale…" She hesitated.  
  
"I'm fine. Please leave."  
  
She nodded then disappeared. I stared at the wall, not knowing what to   
  
do. She took my baby! She took Rini! There were many Ladies Academy's in   
  
the country. Where was I to look? How would I find her? I knew if I waited   
  
for Ellen to come back that she would be tight lipped. Tears once again stung   
  
my eyes. I had to find her!  
  
But first, I had to find Darien. He would have transportation and   
  
hopefully he would know what to do! The problem was I didn't have a clue   
  
as to where he was, which meant I had to wait until tomorrow morning.   
  
I slowly brought myself to sit on a chair that sat against the entryway   
  
wall. I would wait. I just hoped I didn't go crazy waiting.  
  
----  
  
I waited all day and all night in that entryway without a bite to eat   
  
nor with any sleep. I knew Ann was getting worried. She kept coming to   
  
me, begging me to eat something or get some sleep but I wouldn't. I knew   
  
even if I tried I wouldn't be able to sleep or eat. My stomach and my mind   
  
were too wound up.  
  
At six-o-clock in the morning, I finally heard a carriage ride up to   
  
the front of the mansion. I raced to the door, flung the door open, and ran   
  
out to the carriage before it had a chance to stop. I grabbed onto the   
  
window, peering inside to find Mina sitting there. Her blue eyes were wide   
  
as she stared at me.  
  
"Sere, what's the matter?" She jumped out of the carriage and hugged me.   
  
It wasn't until then that I knew I was shaking and breathing hard from my   
  
sudden run from the house.  
  
"Rini!" I looked up at her, "She's gone! Ellen took her! Ellen took   
  
her! She knew I was taking her with me and she took her away! I have now   
  
idea where they went." I began to sob. I knew she was confused but she held   
  
me anyway.   
  
"It's okay. It's going to be okay…" But even as she said it, I knew   
  
it wasn't. Ellen would do anything to keep Rini. I just hoped I would be   
  
able to anything and more to bring her back.  
  
------  
  
To be continued…  
  
AN Note: Sorry it's so short. The next chapter should be longer. 


	6. Chapter Six

Title: Our Lullaby  
  
Author: Marie J.W.  
  
Chapter: CHAPTER SIX  
  
Rated: PG  
  
Email: mariejwchan@yahoo.com  
  
URL: www.clik.to/mariejwchan  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Summary:  
  
It all started on a rainy night in June when Lady Serenity ReCinny of   
  
the House of Chesterfield ran away from her home, her rich life and the   
  
ones that she dearly loved… And all for what? …A baby.  
  
This story is about a woman who sacrifices everything: her family, her   
  
best friend and her joy of life all for one little infant who doesn't even   
  
know her own mother.  
  
AN: This is an alternate reality that takes place in the early 1800's.   
  
This is a Serena/Darien fan fic.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
WARNING NOTE: The ending to the last chapter has been changed. Make sure   
  
you read that first! This will not make sense unless you read it!  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
…Memory…  
  
Sitting with a kitten in her lap, little Serenity watched her mother sew   
  
a quilt together in her lap. The quilt had bright colors and, on some of   
  
the bright squares, intricate designs.  
  
"Are you going to make Ellen another quilt?" Serenity looked up at   
  
her mother from the floor where she was sitting. She petted the soft kitten   
  
as it purred in her lap.  
  
"No, this quilt is for you."  
  
"Me?" Serenity looked at the lovely quilt and smiled, "It's pretty. When will   
  
it be done?"  
  
"Not for a while but then again, you won't get married for a while either."  
  
Serenity frowned.  
  
Smiling, her mother explained, "This is a wedding blanket. This will be   
  
my gift to you on your wedding day. It's very special and you'll have to   
  
take good care of it."  
  
Serenity nodded slowly, "When will I get married?"  
  
"When you're older. Some nice young man is going to take you away from me and   
  
I want you to still remember me when you have a family of your own."  
  
Young Serenity could hardly understand what her mother really meant   
  
but nodded anyway, "Even without the quilt, I'll never forget you."  
  
"I'm glad."  
  
"Mother?"  
  
  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"I love you this much!" Serenity held her arms as far as they could go on   
  
each side but as she looked at the distance she quickly added, "And three   
  
times that much!"  
  
Her mothers laugh echoed around the room.  
  
…End Memory…  
  
---------  
  
I told her everything. I told Mina the whole story from the very   
  
beginning. I knew I couldn't possibly explain my ordeal if she didn't   
  
understand the past. I told her about Darien, our friendship; I told her   
  
about my father and how I lost my mother; I told her about that life   
  
altering night. I told her about the cabin where I gave birth to Rini and   
  
where we lived for a few years. Then I finally told her about coming to   
  
Ellen and John.  
  
"You see, I knew Ellen hated our father. She wouldn't tell and she   
  
would jump at the chance to take Rini in as her own. I wanted Rini to grow   
  
up with a family and have the chance to become something. I wanted her   
  
to experience life to its fullest, not to be hidden up in the mountains,"   
  
I leaned back against the sofa and stared off into the dimly lit sitting   
  
room, "I was wrong though. I wanted her to be happy. I thought having   
  
two parents and wealth and good up bringing would be enough. It's not enough,   
  
it wasn't enough," my voice broke as tears threatened to come to my eyes,   
  
"I'm a terrible mother."  
  
Mina was quite the whole time. Dried tears remained on her cheeks as   
  
she looked solemnly down at me. She sat next to me on the sofa, holding my   
  
hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze.  
  
"You're not a terrible mother, Sere, although I think you made some   
  
horrible decisions," here she seemed to hesitate, "You should have told   
  
Darien, that I am sure of-"  
  
"No," I immediately sat up, shaking my head, "no, I couldn't, I can't!   
  
Do you know what society would do to him? Yes, he would marry me despite   
  
the consequences. He doesn't deserve that kind of a wife! He deserves-"  
  
Mina threw my hand away from her and stood up, suddenly looking angry.   
  
I pulled back, frightened.   
  
"Serenity, do you honestly believe that Darien would regret marrying   
  
you? Isn't there proof enough that he loves you and cares about you more   
  
than anyone? For goodness sakes, Sere, he's not married! He's still a   
  
bachelor. If he wanted to get married, he sure as heck had plenty of time   
  
while you were gone!"  
  
I turned hurt eyes away from her, "He doesn't know about the baby though…"  
  
"He's better than that, even I could see that when he ran after you. He   
  
would love Rini just as much as you despite the circumstances. Why do you   
  
think so little of him?" Mina went quiet, "Did you ever think, despite   
  
his alcoholic induced state, that he fell into what he did because he   
  
wanted to… at least at some future date? Maybe not then, but he could very   
  
well have been in love with you."  
  
I stared at her. That had never occurred to me. However, as I mulled it   
  
over in my head, it could very well be true. I mentally shook my head. It was   
  
a logical explanation but at the same time, I couldn't completely believe it.  
  
"I can't tell him. He deserves to know but not yet…not yet."  
  
Mina sighed and sat back down, "Alright, but at least you're thinking about   
  
it. Now, when does Darien arrive?"  
  
I looked at the grandfather clock and sighed, "Maybe a half hour."  
  
"Good. Alright, this is what we're going to do. Ellen took Rini to a   
  
girl's school. Right? So we look for her."  
  
"But there are so many! Where do we start looking?"  
  
"Lita and the girls own a girls academy a few miles away. I'm sure they can   
  
give us a list of schools and their locations," Mina took a deep breath   
  
and patted my hand, "Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?"  
  
I stared at her as I lifted an eyebrow.  
  
She giggled to release some tension, "Right," She grabbed my hand and pulled   
  
me off the sofa, "I want you to, ah, change in something less dreary if   
  
possible and put your luggage in my carriage. We'll be gone before the Duke   
  
even arrives. Then we'll stop at my place, gather my things and be off to   
  
the girl's academy."  
  
I relaxed and nodded. What would I do without Mina? Wait a minute-  
  
"What about Darien? He's sure to be upset! I told him I would go with him.   
  
He's expecting me to be here."  
  
"Well, you obviously can't go with him without Rini, so we find her   
  
first. And unless you want to stick around and explain all of this to   
  
Darien right now, I suggest you leave a vague message with one of the   
  
servants and be off."  
  
I swallowed nervously and nodded, "Okay," I nodded a second time as I   
  
walked out of the sitting room, 'Right, when Darien finds out, he's not going   
  
to be happy.'  
  
-----------  
  
An hour later, I sat in Mina's carriage. We had taken surprisingly   
  
very little time at Mina's residence to gather her things. I sat stiffly   
  
against the carriage window, "Mina?"  
  
She turned to me, "Hmm?"  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Mina smiled, "No problem. You know, I'm actually glad to help. This town   
  
is so dreary," She made a face, "and the people are so old. I'm excited to   
  
get out of town and have a little adventure. So you're doing me more of a   
  
favor then you realize."  
  
I smiled for the first time in what seemed millions of hours.  
  
"I just hope I can truly help you. From what you told me we're hours behind   
  
your sister, which means she has a head start. Hopefully, when she returns   
  
she won't find you missing as a threat to loosing Rini. She might just move   
  
her again."  
  
I had to admit, I hadn't thought of that.  
  
Sighing I nodded, "I just hope Rini is okay. It's her first time away from   
  
home… and really, her first time truly away from me. I've always been with   
  
her; it was one of our deals. I'm sure she's quite nervous being so far   
  
from home."  
  
"Rini's a tough girl and she'll be okay. Besides, she's her   
  
mother's daughter, right? She'll pull through."  
  
Shaking my head, I gave a small smile, "You're such an optimistic   
  
Mina, however do you manage the energy?"  
  
Mina laughed and shook her head. Apparently, it was to be her own   
  
little secret.  
  
---------  
  
He was a little late but he was sure they would still make it in time   
  
by nightfall to their first stop on their way home. Darien tightened his   
  
gloves as he looked out the window. The mansion was just in view. The   
  
carriage rolled up to the front and came to a stop.  
  
Darien stepped out and called to his coachman, "This will only take a   
  
few moments. Don't bother bringing the carriage into the barn."  
  
"Yes Sir."  
  
Darien approached the door and knocked. Several seconds later, a maid   
  
answered the door. She looked at him curiously before giving him the   
  
regular speech, "I apologize, but all occupants of the house are away, sir.   
  
Were you to be expected?"  
  
Darien frowned, "Yes, in fact I was. I'm supposed to take Lady ReCinny   
  
and her niece Miss Rini with me this morning."  
  
The maid's face scrunched in confusion, "Well, Miss Rini went with   
  
Lady Starant to a ladies school and Lady ReCinny just left just over a half   
  
an hour ago, sir. I believe she said she was planning to be out of town   
  
for weeks."  
  
Frustration and anger immediately grew as he tightened his fists   
  
together, "Did she say where she was going?"  
  
"No sir. However, she did leave with Lady Mina Revolli, if that helps   
  
any. Should I leave a message for their return?"  
  
Darien took a deep breath and forced himself to smile, "No, that won't   
  
be necessary, sorry to bother you." Darien gave a short bow in farewell   
  
and turned on his heels. 'That girl has some explaining to do!'  
  
Quickly entering his carriage, he ordered his coachman, "Take the   
  
nearest road out of here and follow it and fast! I'm going to catch up   
  
with those girls!"  
  
The coachman quickly pushed the horses into a trot and then into a lazy   
  
run as he came out of the Starant driveway. Darien held onto the open window   
  
as he glared at the passing scenery. What did she think she was doing   
  
running off like that? Had she lied to him to get him off her case? Well,   
  
if she thought she could run away again, she had another thought coming.   
  
He was bringing her home and finding the underlying cause of this before   
  
his return home as well. He owed that to himself, her father as well as to   
  
the woman herself.  
  
--------  
  
It seemed to take forever to get away from Mina's dear friends. Lita   
  
insisted that we stay for lunch and then Amy had a little trouble finding   
  
the list of schools.  
  
Eventually, we found ourselves bound for the "Chimalds Ladies Academy",   
  
the first school on the list. It would take us the rest of the day just to   
  
get to Chimalds and by then it would be too late to inquire about Rini. We   
  
would have to do that in the morning. Mina informed me that she had some   
  
friends in Chimald who might accommodate us while we were there.  
  
For the moment, the road seemed long. I watched Mina who had fallen   
  
asleep against one of the windows as she softly snored. This was an   
  
adventure for Mina but so much more to me. Rini was my daughter and although   
  
I hadn't been a mother to her in years, I still felt I needed to salvage   
  
my future. I couldn't change my past but maybe, if I could just find her,   
  
I could change things.  
  
I was such an awful Aunt. I made sure I was strict, even more so, when   
  
I found that Ellen lacked disciplinary skills. Rini was such a sweet   
  
daughter when she was young but the more time we spent at Ellen's the more   
  
she became rebellious, ill mannered and withdrawn. Part of it was due to me,   
  
I have to confess. My own mother, if she were alive, would be   
  
sorely disappointed in me for being less than I am.  
  
When I felt happy, I squashed the feeling, when I felt content, I   
  
shook myself out of it, when I felt a smile coming to my face I turned away.   
  
I did all of this to hide my feelings from the world. If one happy or   
  
sad emotion were to be recognized, I wouldn't be able to pretend I wasn't   
  
Rini's mother any more. My emotions were so connected to Rini. She was the   
  
only family I had left.  
  
I only hoped Rini would be able to forgive me and be patient.  
  
I felt a tear trickle down my cheek.  
  
What was with all the emotions lately! What was I going through? Even   
  
before Darien arrived, I was becoming more emotional than I had in years.   
  
I swallowed around the tears in my throat and held my head up, letting the   
  
tears flow silently. Well, I was done not showing my emotions!  
  
When I find Rini, our life is going to be different. I'm going to be the   
  
best mother in the whole world and I'm going to prove that "I am" my   
  
mother's daughter. I don't care what society thinks! My mother wouldn't   
  
have cared. She would have stood up for me if she were here. She would have   
  
held me and whispered how everything was going to be fine. She would make   
  
things better and I'm going to make things better for Rini.  
  
I'll buy a house near father in the countryside and maybe I'll become   
  
a schoolteacher or something of that nature. Maybe I'll teach piano lessons   
  
or dance lessons to the young girls in town.  
  
My life could be better.  
  
Just when I felt my hopes rising and my confidence in my future gaining,   
  
the sound of horse hooves hitting the ground not too far behind us reached   
  
my ears. Surprised to not be the only one on such a long and far out road,   
  
I craned my head out the window and looked back. Frowning, I wondered who   
  
it would be. They were traveling fast, hard, and gaining on us.  
  
I quickly put my head back in and reached across to shake Mina awake,   
  
"Mina, Mina, there is someone behind us."  
  
Confused, Mina looked around, "What?"  
  
"There is someone behind us."  
  
"Really?" Mina put her head out the window, in much the same way I had   
  
just moments before, "Hmmm…" she ducked back into the carriage, and "It   
  
looks like a noble's carriage."  
  
"I know that! But who in the world would be out here at this time of the   
  
day besides us?"  
  
"Oh," Mina was just getting what I was saying. She frowned, "Well, it   
  
could be just some nobleman in a hurry to get somewhere or-"  
  
"Or what?"  
  
"It could be your prince looking for his runaway princess," Mina   
  
looked thoughtful, "I wondered if he would chase after you," smiling   
  
Mina added gleefully, "Well, now we know!"  
  
--------  
  
To be continued… 


	7. Chapter Seven

Title: Our Lullaby

Author: Marie J.W.

Chapter: CHAPTER SEVEN

Rated: PG

Email:

URL: www.clik.to/mariejwchan  
  
Summary:  
It all started on a rainy night in June when Lady Serenity ReCinny of the House of Chesterfield ran away from her home, her rich life and the ones that she dearly loved… And all for what? …A baby.  
This story is about a woman who sacrifices everything: her family, her best friend and her joy of life all for one little infant who doesn't even know her own mother.  
  
AN: This is an alternate reality that takes place in the early 1800's.  
This is a Serena/Darien fan fic.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
…Memory…  
  
The large ballroom was dark, the curtain drawn, putting the room in utter darkness. Young voices could be heard whispering back and forth as soft feet padded across the room.  
  
"Do you know where you're going?" Serenity frowned in the dark, her tiny hands gripping the back of Endymion's shirt.  
  
"Of course I know where I'm going. Just stop bumping into me."  
  
"Then stop stopping you meanie!" Serenity pouted.  
  
Darien rolled his eyes and continued slowly across the ballroom. They had done this many times before but they at the least had the curtains open to let moonlight into the room.  
  
"This would be a lot easier if your Uncle Tom wasn't up drinking in the study," Endymion whispered.  
  
Serenity silently nodded. There were only two ways into the kitchen and that was past the study and through the ball-  
room. Unfortunately father always had Uncle Tom watch over her when he was gone, leaving the only safe way through the ball-  
room. Endymion was staying the night because his parents were out of town, something Serenity always liked. That way they could play a lot more and it was always nice to have someone to sneak into the kitchen with.  
  
Suddenly Serenity bumped nose first into Endymion's back.  
  
Growling, she stepped back and rubbed her nose, "Why'd you stop for?"  
  
Clearing his throat, embarrassed, Darien informed, "I found the door."  
  
Serenity giggled. They opened the door and crept through and into the hallway. Just two steps down and they were at the kitchen door. Opening that as carefully as possible, they stepped in and immediately went looking for sweet apple candies; something the cook was famous for making.  
  
"Oh here they are!" Serenity pulled the box out of the cupboard and set them on the polished counter top. Darien grinned and quickly joined her. Both of them dug into the box, pulling out several dried sugar coated apple slices. They sat down on the floor sucking and munching their candies to their hearts content.  
  
"I wish we could do this every night," Serenity giggled.  
  
Darien sucked nosily on his candy apple in response.  
  
Serenity smiled at Darien, "Obviously you think so to."  
  
Grinning, Darien replied, "We couldn't do this every night. We'd get sick."  
  
"Would not,"  
  
"Would too and you know it. Remember that time you ate all those liquorish sticks and you ended up throwing up all over your father."  
  
Blushing, Serenity scrunched her nose, "Don't remind me."  
  
Minutes passed by and soon they had both eaten handfuls of candy. Serenity sighed and leaned her head on Endymion's shoulder, "I wish you could stay here forever. You're my best friend in the whole world."  
  
Darien shifted. He wasn't sure whether he liked her getting all mushy on him. Deciding he better do something, he patted her head and tried not to let her get too close, "Yeah… Ah, you too…"  
  
…End of Memory…  
  
The carriage rumbled beneath us and that only served to heighten my anxiety. He can't be following us! What am I going to tell him?  
  
"Mina, what are we going to say?" My eyes were wide with fright. When Darien was mad, you really didn't want to deal with him until he cooled off!  
  
"Hmm?" Mina curiously asked.  
  
"Mina, what are we going to tell him?!" I panicked, "We can't exactly tell him that we're looking for my daughter, now can we?"  
  
Mina's face dropped, "Oh," she grinned sheepishly, "I hadn't thought of that."  
  
I quickly looked out the window to find the carriage nearly upon us and it wasn't slowing down.  
  
I whirled around, "Mina!"  
  
"I know, I know, I'm thinking!" Mina rubbed her temples with her fingers while I sat watching her with my heart beating a thousand miles per minute. My brain ran from one lie to another but none of them were very plausible.  
  
Suddenly Mina sprang up and quickly jumped to my side of the carriage, "I know!"  
  
"Alright, what is it?" I grabbed her hands in mine, squeezing them none too gently. She winced before gripping mine back.  
  
"We're looking for Rini because, because she needs her herbs that help her...um, throat, you know her sickness."  
  
"Rini doesn't get sick."  
  
"I know but he doesn't know that!"  
  
"Oh," I nodded, "Alright, go on."  
  
"Well, that's it. We're looking for Rini and your sister to give Rini the herbs that she forgot and it's an emergency!"  
  
The whole time I was nodding at her explanation, "Alright, why?"  
  
"Why what?"  
  
"Why is it an emergency?"  
  
"Because without them she's going to die!"  
  
"Isn't that a little extreme?"  
  
"This is an extreme situation!" Mina yelled over the noise of the carriage.  
  
I stared at her before swallowing, "Are you sure this will work?"  
  
Mina stared back at me, "No."  
  
"Mina!" I cried.  
  
"Miss," the horseman called down, "There is a carriage flagging us down. Do you wish us to stop?"  
  
Mina and I stared at each other.  
  
"Yes, stop."  
  
--------  
  
Rini frowned as her mother tugged her out of the carriage and into the sunlight. They stood in front of a large building with lots of windows. Above the large double doors it read "Cariena's Ladies Academy".  
  
Blinking, Rini looked up at her mother who was talking to the horseman. Her mother looked shaky and on edge. Not liking the situation at all Rini backed up against the carriage, already wanting to go home.  
  
Lady Starant turned to her daughter and quickly grabbed her hand, "Let's go inside dear."  
  
Rini immediately dug her heels in, "No, I don't want to go! I want to go home!"  
  
Lady Starant quickly whirled on her daughter, "You're coming inside. This is where they are going to make you a lady."  
  
"No! I want to go home!" She stomped her foot and began screaming at the top of her lungs.  
  
Face reddening in embarrassment, Lady Starant frowned, "Rini! Enough!"  
  
"No! I want Aunt ReCinny!" Rini screamed, "I want to go-"  
  
But before she could finish the sentence she was soundly slapped across the face. Rini gasped and her eyes opened wide as she stared at her mother.  
  
Lady Starant stood strait and softly bit her lip, "I'm sorry dear, I shouldn't have done that. I-"  
  
It was too late however. Tears formed in Rini's eyes. Her own mother hit her! Rini backed up further, trying to pull her hand out of her mothers' tight hold, "Let me go…" she cried.  
  
"Dear, please understand. Mother wants you to be a lady and grow up right. You can't do that under Aunt ReCinny. She can't teach you what this school can. Now, please come inside and be a good girl."  
  
Rini stopped her struggling but tears still streamed down her face. Her mother didn't look like someone to trust anymore. Something was terribly wrong with this situation but she wasn't quite sure what it was. Looking at her hand, tightly held in her mothers, Rini felt defeated. She really had no choice. Nodding slowly, Rini stepped forward.  
  
Lady Starant let out a sigh of relief, "Good girl."  
  
Rini wiped the tears with the back of her hand but they still continued to flow. She wanted to go home right now.  
  
---------  
  
Both carriages slowed to a halt. I couldn't breathe. How did I get myself in this situation? Mina gripped my hand and smiled reassuringly. I nodded and turned to look out the side window. I heard the crunch of the gravel as he neared us before his head appeared in the window.  
  
"Afternoon, Ladies," there was no smile in his voice or a pleasant greeting in his eyes. I shivered and managed a weak smile.  
  
"Now, may I inquire as to where you were planning on going?" Darien looked directly at me, staring me down.  
  
I opened my mouth to speak, glanced at Mina then turned back to Darien, "I- We were…" What was the matter with me?  
  
Darien lifted an eyebrow, "Well, then," he frowned and I knew that he could tell that a lie was circling in my brain. I hated him for that. He shouldn't know me so well!  
  
Mina suddenly jumped in, "I'm sorry Mr. Shields, but our journey is urgent. Dear Rini is sick and we are off to find Serenity's niece to give her the herbs she needs."  
  
Darien seemed to suddenly take notice of the other blonde in the carriage and gave her a critical eye, "Really?"  
  
"Really," Mina frowned, "And we really need to be off."  
  
"The young Miss is back at your sister's estate."  
  
"No," I gulped, "No, she isn't. Ellen took her early this morning to a boarding school."  
  
"Rather sudden, isn't it?"  
  
I nodded, "Yes-"  
  
"And that's why they forgot the herbs for Rini," Mina quickly cut in, "Please, may we be off Sir?"  
  
"I'm afraid not. I have some business here with Serenity that needs to be taken care of and I daren't leave her out of my sight," He pointedly stared at me, "Besides," he turned his head to address Mina, "I wouldn't dare let two ladies such as yourselves travel alone."  
  
"Oh, well then by all means, shall you be our escort?" Mina smiled and batted her eyelashes playful. I frowned and quickly turned back to Darien, "You don't need-"  
  
"No, I do," He nodded at Mina then faced me, "Where is your next stop?"  
  
"Glenford Manor."  
  
"Very well. I shall be behind you all the way," With that Darien nodded and stomped off back to his own carriage. I let out the breath I was holding and released my hand from Mina's to put it against my breast. I could feel my heart pumping wildly under my fingers.  
  
"Well, that wasn't too hard."  
  
"You think he believed us?" I asked.  
  
"Of course."  
  
I glanced at Mina out of the corner of my eye. No, no Darien did not believe us, at least not totally. I could tell by how stand-  
offish he was that he did not. I swallowed. And I could most certainly count on him confronting me about it on this trip.  
  
How much longer could I lie?

To Be Continued… 


End file.
